In the words of Monty Python; And now for something completely different!
The following is my ramblings and ongoing thoughts during my first listen to Lady Gaga's third album ARTPOP. Obviously an album of this magnitude requires me to break the review mould.
The lyric makes Gaga out to be this fragile, delicate wallflower behind the embodiment of cocaine that she's been for nigh-on five years. This better not be a sign of things to come.
I like this chiptune part of Venus; again the lyrics are heavy-handed but that's obviously Gaga's schtick. Venus is far more straight-forward in terms of song-structure, love-letter to continental pop music, wouldn't sound out of place as a Eurovision entry for say, Azerbaijan.
...So I've obviously taken a minute to find out how to spell Azerbaijan. There's more Europop so Aura's thus far the weird song. G.U.Y reminds me of I Like It Rough, that bridge just helped the song ten fold.
Think my record skipped during Sexxx Dreams, is my album corrupt? Oh, it's happened again so it's intentional. Plus it's an MP3 which can't skip...I think...
Ok, that skipping sample in the chorus is annoying, the audiophile in me is cringing and needs a Xanax. Should I comment that the song has Gaga open about her nocturnal emissions? Of course not, a Gaga song with sexual overtones is like an Eminem song with homophobia.
Jewels n' Drugs is just plain bad. At least the previous songs had the theme of female empowering overloaded to the point of breaking out in an engulfing wave of oestrogen and pussy riot t-shirts. This is just filler. I don't know who rapper number three is but at least he's trying. Props rapper three.
Phone's just gone, it's for PPI. Tempted to turn up MANiCURE as a means of torture. Probably shouldn't. I hear a heavy metal guitar buried in there which is then sampled to kingdom come at the end. More filler, someone save the middle of this album?
Maybe R-Kelly? Can we still make jokes about R-Kelly? Is he cool again? Space Jam is nearly twenty years old. Jesus, R-Kelly is technically a veteran of the game. He sings "I don't give a fuuuuuuu", that's the highlight in terms of vocals of the album...thus far.
Another phone call so I've missed the title track. Over half way, not sure what to make of it. It's obviously not going top The Fame Monster and nothing comes close to topping Judas from Born This Way. I'm surprised at how consistent the album has been thus far...Aura and Jewels n' Drugs withstanding.
Problem is how generic the sound is. Every songs thus far is fixated with vocal sampled for choruses, she'll say a deadpan, laughably bad statement of empowerment which, if said by anyone else, would be laughed out of the building. Donatella is on and it's the same song from earlier. Slogan-Verse-Chorus-Verse-Chorus-Hook-Bridge-Chorus of dubstep and nineties house music. It is starting to grain but maybe the album isn't supposed to be listened to in one sitting?
Fashion sounds like the song an X-Factor contestant would sing after being voted in the bottom two. Not lyrically obviously; it's a simple love letter to...well...fashion. Take it back, it's a rehash of MANiCURE except Fashion doesn't sound as pleasing to sing. The word I mean as Gaga makes it sound like "FFAHHHHHHHSSSSHHUUUNNNN!".
God, four left and Applause is one of them. At least I can think about to what to put as a conclusion. The sound overall isn't a massive reinvention to those who were around for the trance-heavy, Trainspotting club-house anthems of twenty years ago.
Gaga' lyrics are pretty poor throughout but this is to be expected. They're not particularly catchy or don't really compliment her singing despite having quite a good set of pipes. Dope's showing this off again and I hope this doesn't turn in Fashion again; dramatic start followed by disorientating second half of wub-wubs.
Lyric's again are almost juvenile and so heavy handed, that it could reach the mole-people. Just because the song is basically "I need you more than dope"...doesn't mean you have to sing just that. Musically, this was a nice-stripped back and needed breather, but when the song rests on vocals with such idiotic lyrics, it ruins everything.
Will I listen to it again in full? Probably not. Does it have commercial appeal? Not really outside her easily pleased fanbase. Whereas The Fame, The Fame Monster and even Born This Way had obvious singles, this is more generic and nowhere near as accessible. It might work after excessive listening like, getting use to Chinese water torture, but the songs are similar but are tired in the marketplace.
Applause is finally on. I hate this song and I have no idea why it's the final track. It does however give me a talking point.
Gaga's promotion of Applause was filled with various slogans that detractors have used over the past couple of years where she mockingly responded by saying "She was over". The problem is, even with over-saturation, a persona that's basically what happens when someone takes too much cocaine, has too much freedom and money, Gaga says she does everything for her fans and "Lives for the applause".
After ARTPOP, she'll need to try harder. It's not as messy as Born This Way, but instead, is somehow a watered down reiteration of that album's ideas caked in an overly-familiar sound that's been done to death, not just in the past decade, but the decade before that.
Far fewer worthwhile tracks, a very difficult listen throughout and will probably only appeal to her little monsters while the rest of the world will wonder how Gaga even became the figurehead of pop music in the first place?
3/10
H
@Retcon_Nation
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